Ranger Danger

These are questions that people actually asked of Park Rangers around the United States. Ah! The joys of customer service!

Grand Canyon National Park

• Was this man-made?
• Do you light it up at night?
• I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom -- where is it?
• Is the mule train air conditioned?
• So where are the faces of the presidents?

Everglades National Park

• Are the alligators real?
• Are the baby alligators for sale?
• Where are all the rides?
• What time does the two o'clock bus leave?

Denali National Park (Alaska)

• What time do you feed the bears?
• Can you show me where the yeti lives?
• How often do you mow the tundra?
• How much does Mount McKinley weigh?

Mesa Verde National Park

• Did people build this, or did Indians?
• Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?
• What did they worship in the kivas -- their own made-up religion?
• Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?
• Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?

Carlsbad Caverns National Park

• How much of the cave is underground?
• So what's in the unexplored part of the cave?
• Does it ever rain in here?
• How many Ping-Pong balls would it take to fill this up?
• So what is this -- just a hole in the ground?

Yosemite National Park

• Where are the cages for the animals?
• What time do you turn on Yosemite Falls?
• Can I get my picture taken with the carving of President Clinton?

Yellowstone National Park

• Does Old Faithful erupt at night?
• How do you turn it on?
• When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?
• We had no trouble finding the park entrances, but where are the exits?