Ranger Danger

These are questions that people actually asked of Park Rangers around the United States. Ah! The joys of customer service!


Grand Canyon National Park

  • Was this man-made?
  • Do you light it up at night?
  • I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom -- where is it?
  • Is the mule train air conditioned?
  • So where are the faces of the presidents?

Everglades National Park

  • Are the alligators real?
  • Are the baby alligators for sale?
  • Where are all the rides?
  • What time does the two o'clock bus leave?

Denali National Park (Alaska)

  • What time do you feed the bears?
  • Can you show me where the yeti lives?
  • How often do you mow the tundra?
  • How much does Mount McKinley weigh?

Mesa Verde National Park

  • Did people build this, or did Indians?
  • Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?
  • What did they worship in the kivas -- their own made-up religion?
  • Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?
  • Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?

Carlsbad Caverns National Park

  • How much of the cave is underground?
  • So what's in the unexplored part of the cave?
  • Does it ever rain in here?
  • How many Ping-Pong balls would it take to fill this up?
  • So what is this -- just a hole in the ground?

Yosemite National Park

  • Where are the cages for the animals?
  • What time do you turn on Yosemite Falls?
  • Can I get my picture taken with the carving of President Clinton?

Yellowstone National Park

  • Does Old Faithful erupt at night?
  • How do you turn it on?
  • When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?
  • We had no trouble finding the park entrances, but where are the exits?


Know Any More?? Mail me! I myself have never been to any of these places... Sorry!